Morning after

Right. Yesterday = sad. Today = Better.

Yesterday I was a sad, crying, pitiful person. But I promise I'm better today. A good night's sleep always makes you feel better, doesn't it? Maybe not all of the time. But in my case it did.

I slept at 2:30 a.m. maybe later. I couldn't fall asleep. I tossed, I turned to no avail. The bedroom lights were out at 10:30 p.m. I wasn't. I showered and prayed. I sat at the prayer mat after prayers and just cried. I cried and cried and cried till I stopped. I always feel the most vulnerable when I'm praying. Especially when I'm feeling sad. The tears will just come naturally. My eyes will well up and I'll just cry. I guess I just feel as if I can, that it's okay to cry when you're facing god. He'll understand. So cry, I did. I felt lonely and sad. A little sorry for myself too.

After prayers, I tried to sleep. I couldn't. I lay in bed wide-eyed. Still feeling crummy. So I got up and went upstairs to watch telly, get my mind off things. I watched telly till about 2++ till I could watch no more. I was mentally exhausted and my eyes were hurting from the crying earlier. Turned off the telly and went back to the room.

There I lay for the next twenty minutes or so, trying to fall asleep. Head full of mixed up thoughts. I still couldn't sleep. Which made me resolve that I should get some sleeping pills the next time I'm at the pharmacy.

I finally fell asleep. Out of exhaustion from trying to sleep I assume and woke up at 10:30 a.m. today.

I feel a little lethargic. The way I normally feel after crying the night before. Other than that, I'm doing just fine.

If you're wondering what was the cause of my sadness, I can't really tell. It was not just ONE thing. It was a collection many things. All in all, it just made me feel sad and want to cry. I'm a little emotional like that. -_-'

I've not come up with any solution to the cause of my sadness. But I think, I can fix it.

At least I'll try.